"Possessions are tied to identity in ways we may not appreciate until we try to purge them from our lives."
When you walk into a person’s bedroom, you step inside them. On some Magic School Bus shit, you get a look into their mind. You get to explore their taste in art, and how they cater their space to fit their needs and wants. Getting to know what they are interested in. From the books they read, the kind of music they buy, what art is displayed, and where they decide to place every object in their space, even if it might not feel intentional to them. You can dissect an individual’s whole life from their room if you want to.
For those who aren’t aware, Ryan and I (Malik) started FIVE DOLLA CAM a little over a year ago. The result of our two minds combined, this is our fusion dance (RIP Toriyama). We have only known each other for roughly 2 years but it feels much longer. In many ways, Ryan is the brother I never had, or maybe a version of myself from another universe, who knows. We are exactly different, I won’t explain further.
We both witnessed and helped one another step into art in a more serious light and mature into adulthood. My favorite journey in seeing Ry grow is when he moved into his apartment this time last year. Once those keys hit his hands he unlocked a new side of him that not even he could foresee. With many memories created, ideas formulated, and projects completed, in what felt much longer than a year, this chapter came to a finish with the end of his lease. To encapsulate this pivotal saga in his life, I decided to have one last conversation in his once-new home, which felt like my second in many ways. We talk about moving in, what it was like living away from home for the first time, and how it feels to have to move out.
In his 1 year living at his apartment, first time away from his childhood home. I witnessed the artistic and creative growth within Ryan as he slowly found the best way to express himself with ease. I remember when he first showed me his sticky notes on his walls. It was only about 10 of them, yet I knew he had something there. Fast forward months later, a week before his lease was to end and those 10 sticky notes transformed into his entire room being covered by drawings being taped on the ceilings, coffee cups, and cigarettes on the walls, and hundreds of sticky notes with sketches, notes, quotes, and photos; just about anything that could be stuck on with tape. It’s interesting how one small idea could turn into such a massive project. He even inspired me to do the same in my own bedroom, on a drastically smaller scale of course.
This is a Conversation Between Two Fiddies.
why post-its?
it's the easiest thing to put on the wall, you don't have to use tape or thumbtacks,--and it doesn't fuck up the wall. I guess I got addicted to it because of the square aspect (ratio), the size is perfect for it. You know, I draw fast. So I can do a whole thing of sticky notes in five minutes if I want to. I originally got it for to-do lists, little reminders around the house, and then eventually I started writing shit like “****” on it or drawing faces. And sketch ideas.
As I sat with him on his bed, we pointed out some of our favorites.
How can you compare yourself to when you first moved in, to your current self?
Moving in I didn't have a clue of what I wanted to do with my art practice, not only that, but I also wasn’t fully prepared to cycle back to shit from the past to reconcile with. But now I haven’t exactly figured out either but I’ve been facing both with more intention. Being at grace with myself, I guess that’s the biggest change also I’m just better at everything you know what I’m saying? Not only have I picked up new hobbies but I can articulate my work better, make it better. I’m just better. I picked up reading and skating, but I don’t know which is better. with roller skating, it was better than the first time I picked up a skateboard. I’m just naturally good at it, it hasn’t taken me long to get “good”. I feel like reading has boosted the shit out of my ideas and my creativity. It does it slower than watching a movie or listening to music but when it does it’s intensified. I started reading Octavia Butler’s shit but I kinda took a concept from one of her books and started putting pieces of it in my songs and it boosted my songwriting. I never expected that science fiction would help my music.
In your room, you turn anything into art, from a toy car or a cigarette to a napkin from a restaurant (all were taped on his wall). You see the art in little things, how does the mindset that anything could be art reflect in your life?
I do see through a camera lens, what I capture is what I’m seeing. That’s kinda how I go through my day-to-day I’m seeing everything as if I’m making it myself, like I’m designing something. Usually when Im drawing or writing something I hate repeating shit. That’s definitely one way I go about my day-to-day since I don't like repetition so I tend to consistently look for new shit. Even when I go down the street to the cafe sometimes I’ll walk one way, or sometimes I’ll do a circle then I’ll walk in, I’ll even drive just for the fuck of it even if it’s right there, like you never know. and I guess even my clothes even though I haven't bought clothes in so long. I still feel like I can make new fits with my old clothes.
While one wall had just about everything, everywhere, all at once displayed on it, the wall across had an entire book dissected from cover to cover, each page ripped out and stuck on the wall in order. Why?
So I got this weird tendency to when I really really fuck with something, like physically I like to break it. I’m not like a rough person, like I’m gentle but I just love breaking shit. Like I'm not really attached to material things forreal. I thought it would be sick to use a book that I’ve really tore up with highlighter, and digested (All About Love) and to take it apart and put it back up. But yeah something like this is gonna be the centerpiece of all my rooms and studios. The next time I might have a bigger wall and throw up All About Love, and then have The Creative Act right next to it. I’m starting to love finding shit that can be endless like that, these can span miles if I wanted to, but I’m starting to realize the potential in everything. My works have changed a lot over the past year, they’ve become more elaborate. Even with the FIVEDOLLACAM shorts, there was more thought going into everything. I went on a Spike Lee run, watching all of his movies. He inspired my work within my characters. I’ve taken notes on how he writes characters from their motives to their overall design. Even down to the names “Mookie, Bleak, Radio Raheem, Buggin’ Out’. Inspired a name for my characters like ********* *******.
Thoughts on Moving back home?
It sucks but I'm ready for it. It's crazy because in this book I just read by Octavia Butler, Parable of the Sower. The lead character creates her own religion. One of the verses in the book is “God is Change”, she kept saying that. And you know, you’re either cool with that or you’re not cool with that, but it’s inevitable. Change is inevitable. So I’ll be alright.
We continued to talk about our artistry, our dynamic in the collaboration of 5, the art community, and social media. But that’s for us not yall.
Fast forward to the move-out date, I helped Ryan and his roommate move their things out. Walking into Ryan’s room what was once colorful, overstimulating (in a good way), and a clear avenue of his self-expression, and seeing it empty, a shell of its former self, was painful. I don’t know what other way to describe the feeling. A few missed post-its on the ceiling, a painted Vinyl cover in the corner that was painted by our friend *****, and some suitcases were all that were left. We made trips back and forth from the apartment to the Uhaul truck. Slowly, dismantling and scattering his belongings that once lived in harmony, between our vehicles. Paintings that we made together, records that once filled the air as they blasted through the apartment, boxes of crumbled sticky notes and photos, memories that felt so large yet only filled a couple of cars and a truck. I could tell it was emotionally and physically exhausting for both roommates. Who knows what thoughts were racing through their minds as they packed their lives away in preparation for a new chapter as this one was done, what memories were being left behind? It was beautiful in a way, to be able to witness and be part of this journey from the beginning of the chapter through the end.
Interviewer: ($2.50) Malik Fabian-Mahmud: @fabmud
Interviewee: ($2.50) Ryan Gipson II: @ryancrashed
